Sunday, February 11, 2007
A simple photo can take you back to a timewhere everything was perfect
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This whole week, its like an internal struggle of worry and self-doubt.
All these random thoughts of failing O levels, getting above 10 points.
Worried of all these expectations that I fear I would let down, how the future would be so uncertain.
Just a few minutes ago, I was freaking out because I realised I did not study much this whole weekend.
I just spent it fooling around.
I just felt so down and out, like 'oh shit I am so screwed'
Its really strange, how this little piece of paper with a random bunch of letters and numbers all in row can affect and cause so much worry.
Yet, what does these letters all mean?
Does it really mean we are a better person, a better student, a better child?
The answer is pretty obvious staring staight at me,
but why do I still want so badly to do well that it is just eating me up.
I study so hard just for what, that piece of paper.
It seems quite pointless, but somehow I know I need to do it.
Am I really defined by the grades that I get.
I know somehow, at the end of this whole 'O level' journey, I want to be more than
'Oh I got these grades because I mugged'
It should be so much more than that, because God is the one who created all this knowledge in the first place.
Still, to glorify god through my results, I cannot really seem to get it.
But for now, I will try to glorify him through the way I go through this exam, I hope.
Its just the beginning and it already sucks so bad.
When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray.
Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer is on it's way.
Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.
And He never sleeps, He never slumbers.
He never tires of hearing our prayer.
When we are weak He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him.
Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your need.
Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see.